Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
