google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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