Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize