I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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