I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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