Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
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