Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize