Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Randomize
