White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
