So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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