what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
