1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Randomize
