ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
and she was petting her beer can
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
