My hair reeks of homosexuality.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
