sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
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