my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
