Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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