I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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