Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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