we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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