So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
