he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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