I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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