and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
