I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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