even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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