hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
