You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
