Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
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