...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
