She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
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