how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
