too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
