I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
