every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
