i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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