my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
