I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
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