he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
