Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize