"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
