Three words: puerto rican gang bang
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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