I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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