Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
