I don't think brook has ever known best
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize