you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
