So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
