So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
