And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
My ATM looks so different sober.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize