what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
