big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Fuck appropriateness.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
