and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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