Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
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