Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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