RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
