So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
my being single is dangerous.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
