What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
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