I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
