I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
