I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Randomize
